2.2.06

Awwww You've Surrendered !!!

My brother and his family recently travelled to South Africa and regaled me with this story.

Whilst in Nairobi they visited a rather unique open air meat speciality restaurant aptly named, “Carnivore”, which serves a host of various animals grilled to perfection and is widely regarded as one of 'Africa's Greatest Eating Experiences'.

After being seated by a large African waiter they were given an array of bowls with various dipping sauces and a small pennant flag on a stand which read “Carnivore”. When they enquired into the reason for the flag they were told in his booming barritone, “ Dis is your flag, when it is up we will keep coming with the food and when it is lying over it means you have surrendered but I hope you do not surrender!”

Skewered upon converted masai spears over a centrally located char grill were a host of meats including lamb, pork, venison, rump and sirloin beef, lamb, spare ribs, chicken wings, sausages and local specialities including zebra, ostrich, crocodile, giraffe, impala and hartebeest.

The waiting chefs appeared table side and proceeded to carve meat direct from the skewers onto the cast iron plates on the table. Everytime the plates were even beginning to show signs of depletion the servers would reappear and slice another plate full of whatever you desired.

Plate upon plate arrived and hence it was not overly long before my brother and family were slowly turning green at the gills and despite the urge to sample as much as possible of the offered fare, the sheer physics of abdominal expansion eventually won out.

My brother laid the flag on it its side and out of nowhere the large African waiter appeared once more and said with a look of disappointment, “Awwww you have surrendered, what a shame!”. The guy obviously had a wild sense of humour although I think the diners were to full to laugh themselves without risking an unwanted physical reaction.

There is a vegetarian menu available with salads and vegetable side dishes but it goes without saying that you would probably find the ambience upsetting on moral grounds if you were a vegetarian.

If you are headed to Nairobi then all I can say is, “Bon apetit!”

2 comments:

Lynne Hand said...

Almost as funny as some EC members (you know what I mean) being told they should eat with their fingers in the local African restaurant - priceless.

.abc. said...

Superb. I laughed outloud and my cat was wondering what was wrong with me.
You are a very good writer.